Things Not Done

I seem to be not going anything that I should be doing. I should probably be in bed, for instance. But instead, I’m sitting here looking for solutions that don’t seem to be online. I do have a PDF index building in the background, which is my excuse for not being gone yet.

Of course, that’s not all.

I should have loaded my stuff into the new car, but it’s still sitting in boxes in the garage. I can’t figure out the right place to put anything. And some things don’t seem like they can go in the new car. Others, well, I’m trying to decide if they SHOULD be in the car. So I’m not doing anything.

And I’m supposed to be writing a journal for something, but I can’t make myself start. I just put it off indefinitely. It’s just too impossible anyway, and I don’t want to write what other people want.

I should be repairing all the damage the Microsoft caused with their latest IE patches; but I don’t feel like figuring out the shockwave scripts.

I should be loading the dishwasher and tidying the kitchen. I never seem to get things where they belong.

I should be cleaning up the mess of boxes and nonsense sitting around; but everything feels so scattered about and beyond me.

I should be doing so many things.
I can’t seem to do any of them.
Maybe I just want things I can’t ever have.
I know some things are impossible
But that doesn’t make me stop wanting them
Or tell me how to deal with not having them.
So instead I do nothing.
And hope that maybe things will change.