Daily Shoulds

There comes a point where doing everything is just too blooming overwhelming. There’s so much that you should be doing that you can’t even figure out what all it is that you are so anxious about not getting done. So in this confused mood, I decided to go about making a list of it all. Not the work minutia. That stuff has its own special list in a circa notebook. Just some of the rest of it.

• figure out Lubbock
  • research the details on the dorm—there seems to be no Internet access. Presumably there is a phone; so in theory there would be dial-up. Can I survive dial-up? Is there A/C? You don’t want to see me w/o A/C. Is there an elevator? With my back and knees, there’s no way I can drag things up the stairs. What would I do about cold water/soda? Is an ice chest a realistic option? Any details on the, um, facilities? I have privacy issues.
  • research the details on the hotel(s), which generally amounts to many of the same questions, highlighted by the key question: Can I possibly afford this? Is all the fun stuff going to happen in the dorm, like ISU? Thus is the hotel going to be the unhip place to be?
  • research the driving details—how long does this drive take again? Can I manage the vast emptiness by myself?
  • work magic with my check books to try to figure out money issues.
  • figure out when exactly I am going to create my presentation. And can I possibily sound intelligent? I haven’t written anything but lesson plans in a very long time.
  • work on my little mac (and pray) so that I can write during sessions if I do end up in Lubbock.
• write that book manuscript before I am beaten and fired.
• clean the filth that is my kitchen.
• clean up the basement.
• create two Flash interactives.
• deal with the mounds of laundry that need to be put away.
• bury the mounds of clothes that don’t fit.
• figure out my eating, because right now I am a whale.
• find some way to make this burping, acid, bloaty horror stop.
• make a sign that says, ‘no matter how tempting, never eat pizza or tomato sauce of any kind again.’ I don’t know what I was thinking, but the horror of the pizza I ate tonight wasn’t worth it. Why couldn’t I be ill when I eat all the wrong things so that I could turn into a Barbie?
• schedule a hair cut.
• write some EconEdLink lesson plans to pay for all this nonsense.
• get some lawn work taken care of, because it’s an unpolished jungle out there.
• clean out the garage, which is also an unpolished disaster. Be sure to put new plastic on those windows too.
• figure out how to pay to get the stuff that needs painted on this house all painted.
• figure out why I’m not getting any of this stuff done.

:( One day maybe I’ll have my act together. Instead, I can’t seem to do anything but be overwhelmed by it all. I’m sure that i’ve left out dozens of things too :( I’m such a nonsensical disaster.