I need to do a better job overall. I never get to work on time anymore, and people have noticed. I’ve been told that I have to improve. Soon. I wish I weren’t so messed up.

I watched something from Biography Channel on Dostoevsky. I wouldn’t normally have even known it was on, but I found it in the listings when I was scheduling the TiVo. So I scheduled it. Perhaps not the best thing I’ve ever seen, but it was at least one rerun of Spongebob that I didn’t watch—and I did get an overview of good old Fyodor. And there were lovely quotes to describe my life. Fyodor explores “what we are, not what we should be.” Now if I could only be happy with what I am, instead of what I should be. Then again, Dostoevsky focused on antiheroes, tortured loners on the outskirts of society. Maybe I’m trapped in a Dostoevsky novel, and I’m only just now figuring it out.

Now I have to go to bed. I MUST be at work on time or I’m going to be fired. I wish I could get more done and be better at all this. :(