Despite my slacker malaise and inability to move, I did go out to the car and get the dirty clothes so that I could do the laundry. Got the clean clothes too for that matter. There was a small pile of things that I could have been wearing if I weren’t so lazy. My hair dryer was easily accessible, so I grabbed that too. Considering the pile of things that is still in the car, it’s not really an accomplishment. But anyway, I did put on jeans and walk outside. I even took the trash to the street and lamented on how I missed the lesbians who used to live across the street, not that I ever talked to them more than once every six months but it made me happy to know that they were there with their little girl.

I’ve spent most of my waking hours today going through drafts of content for an online course NCTE is putting together while listening to and occasionally watching the playoff games. The hard thing about reviewing these course modules is that they really aren’t what I’d do, but they are based on what I’ve written for my kit. What I’d do doesn’t really matter. These have to be more generic, suitable for anyone who might enroll. It’s still hard to read your text woven into things that you wouldn’t necessarily do. Oh well. I did all the commenting in Word on the laptop, because of my hand issues.

I really wanted to go back to bed most of the afternoon and early evening. I’m not sure why it’s better to sit up half staring into space and being skittery unfocused; but I’ve tried to convince myself that hiding away in bed isn’t acceptable.

I didn’t do much with the diet site today either. I’ve been an eating machine, so why bother. I realized that I’m mostly eating like a cow now because when I’m dieting, I won’t be able to eat anymore. I’m so bad at all this. I decided to name this strategy “Hibernation Dieting.” Eating and eating and eating because soon there will be a long fast. Maybe I’d be more successful if I identified the things that I do want to eat and designed a diet around that. Instead of trying to disallow red meat, go ahead and have a piece every day if I want it. Part of the problem, I’m sure, is the things I’m not allowed to have and the endless pile of things that I try to eat to satisfy a need for those things that I’ve disallowed. I don’t know anymore. Clearly I’m a major failure at this, and I haven’t even officially started., from my perspective.

Tomorrow, I have a doctor’s appointment with a resident. My hands are so problematic. Sometimes I’m sure that it’s carpal tunnel. They can be all needles and pins numb. Other times, when it’s this horrible pain that I get when I make a fist or try to open a jar, I’m not sure what it is. Tendinitis? Arthritis? I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense that the problems start with driving home at Thanksgiving and get worse while I’m in Virginia. Makes it hard to believe it’s arthritis or something. It must be some repetitive stress thing that I do when I’m driving and when I’m cooking in Virginia. Every time I had a sharp pain I was doing something with a spatula, or my hands would be going numb as I’d whisk something. But none of that explains the sharp pain that showed up that one night when I tried to make a fist. I hope the doctors tomorrow can make something of it, and I hope that whatever it is includes strong drugs that make it stop hurting. The appointment isn’t till 3:30, so I’ll just have to wait it out and try not to open any jars or make any fists in the meantime.