Okay, it’s late, and I’m completely agitated. The process of replacing my roof is supposed to begin too early in the morning. After 9 AM, there should be a dumpster in the driveway, which means that I’ve had to park my car on the street. It’s making me crazy to have it out there. I can’t see it without flashlighting it, and I’m overly worried about it. Logically this makes no sense. I parked my car in a parking lot the entire time I lived in Austin, but I could always see the car from the apartment. Maybe it’s not being able to see it. But the thing is I’ve parked every car in front of my parents’ house, and it never bothered me. If I went to the trouble of trying to look at the window, I might be able to see it at home. But I never bothered. I guess I always feel safe at home, and I never feel completely safe anywhere else. I wish I could. I wish I could relax and be unworried.

If the car thing isn’t enough, I have my stupid physical therapy appointment tomorrow afternoon. My stupid back. It doesn’t even hurt, and I have to go do this stuff. I want to cancel the appointment. We all know what’s wrong with me. I’m fat. Having some person I don’t know touch me and force me into mechanical torture devices isn’t going to solve the problem. I wish I could disappear and avoid this.