So at some point overnight, I realized that going to work today was senseless. The pills had my brain mushy, and I was still in lots of pain. I remember calling Sharon around 9 AM or so, and telling her that I was taking a sick day. God only knows what else I told her. We had talked just a day or two ago about the gobs of sick time I’ve accumulated, so it didn’t bother me to take some. Hell, I’m supposed to be able to take it, and it hurts to walk across the room. The idea of getting up and somehow showering, dressing, and getting into and out of the car is impossible.

I think I got back out of bed around 10 or 10:30, and I redosed on the medicines. I fiddled on the computer, but soon my brain was mush and I was yawning and unable to keep my eyes open. I went back to bed. The drugs are dehydrating me too, so I remember getting up for water at some point. Around 2 PM, I got the call from the doctor’s office. The X-rays show disc narrowing at L4 and L5. No word on what the means I’m supposed to do.

About 30 minutes after that, I got the call from the physical therapy office to set up that appointment. They can’t get me in until October 20, which is just as well because I’d rather be covered in bees than go do this. They also had me confirm all my personal info in the system. Turned out that neither of the people they had as emergency contacts were useful, seeing as they were both dead. :( I rolled over and went back to sleep again.

I think I checked e-mail again around 4. Went back to bed by 5 or so, and didn’t get up until 10:00 PM. It was a day of much sleeping and unhappy discomfort. I’ve fiddled around online a bit, and mostly feel very sleepy. The only thing I’ve actually accomplished was making a new cover for my cute little notebook out of some purple cardstock that I had. I am -so- loving this notebook. One of the most interesting things this evening was my realization that I could be a perfectionist with this thing and not be stuck in the ‘what if’ stage. With something like a new notebook, I spend too much time trying to plan out how to use it, asking myself questions about what to put in which sections, how to organize things so that I can find them, and so on. I was sitting here looking at the notebook tonight and suddenly realized that the beauty of this thing is that I can try out different ways of organizing because I’m not ever going to be stuck. I can easily rearrange them. I could kiss John’s feet. I’m so glad that his explanation of this thing finally clicked, because I can see it changing my perfectionist ways in positive ways. Of course, making that cover took all of about 5 minutes top (had to get it trimmed to the right size, which took some trial and error). Not really much of an accomplishment to brag about.

I tried to do some work on a lesson plan, focusing on reading and writing definitions. I haven’t gotten very far. Damned mushy brain. And you know the mushy brain thing wouldn’t be so bad if the drugs were actually knocking out all of the pain. But they aren’t. It hurts just to move. I have taken extra medicine that I’m not supposed to (because of the acid reflux). I know it’s stupid, but it hurts and I want it to stop. I guess I may as well go back to bed. At least when I’m sleeping I only have to deal with pain when I try to change positions. It’s not like the horror of walking around. I need a helper monkey—and a handicapped parking tag for my car.