Gender and Nike Shox Cog

I know I should be used to blatantly stupid gender nonsense by now, but the two commercials that I just saw for Nike Shox Cogs just really pissed me off.

MALE RUNNER: side shot of guy running on treadmill with wilderness sort of landscape beyond the treadmill. An ostrich is running beside the guy, and he keeps increasing the speed on the treadmill cuz, of course, he wants to run faster than the ostrich. He is ahead, but just so. Thank goodness for Nike Shox Cog.

FEMALE RUNNER: front shot of woman running on treadmill with complete black backdrop behind her. Disembodied eyeballs on the backdrop fly forward towards her. She sees them and must run faster to keep away from the freaky scary evil eyeballs.

Let’s pretend that the front shot of the woman was required because the thing she was outrunning was behind her, rather than beside her as was the case for the male. I’ll pretend it had nothing to do with wanting to watch her b00bs bounce. But please God, women have to have Nike Shox Cog so that they can outrun evil? Women have to buy Nike Shox Cog because they are being terrorized while men are apparently just getting in touch with their animal instincts? If I had any Nike’s in the house, I would put them in the trash. I swear. I am so pissed off.

It may actually be worse too. The male runner is black. I didn’t pay enough attention to the background—was it supposed to be Africa? Is Nike saying something horrible about black men and animals that I don’t really want to think about? You know I’d tell myself that I’m overanalyzing but given the commercial with the woman, how can I believe that Nike isn’t the spawn of Satan?