i am not in bed

It’s 1:30 AM. I am not in bed. Perhaps a random picture of a duck dressed as a pig will help.

No. That didn’t fix anything. It’s still 1:30. It’s even later really, and I’m still not in bed. This is a stupid thing to admit. I feel like time is slipping away from me. I don’t know what happened to it all. Suddenly it was later and I can’t really account for what I did during any of it. I wasn’t asleep. I wasn’t checking bloglines. I wasn’t even buying and selling on blogshares. (We won’t talk about this afternoon when I acquired some blogger and bought up more of the Notes from the Walter J. Ong Archives.)

I guess that it doesn’t help that I was working on my technology review lesson plan till 7 and didn’t get home till after 8. That would chew up a good portion of the evening. Maybe I have been numbly lost in thought and confusion. It’s a good story anyway.

I tried to go shopping, but nothing I tried on looked good. I felt like the circus fat lady in everything. I want to believe that it was the lighting in the store, but I’m sure that’s just wishful thinking. So when I finally did get home, I guess I just sat around and did nothing. There’s something to be proud of.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know myself anymore, let alone know the people I care about. I seem to make all the wrong decisions these days, and I forget to do the things that matter. Like going to bed… why aren’t I going to bed? Everything feels like it’s spinning and chaotic and beyond my control right now. :(
Writing about it isn’t helping though, so I guess I shall try to sleep.

Tags: duck |
Duck for President |
rambling