picked up mail kept in bondage at the post office while i was out of town. this bounty, once freed from the meticulously twisted rubber bands, revealed 3 oz. of mail to keep, and 2 lbs. 2 oz. of mail to trash.

most illuminating piece of mail began: “As a student enrolled in school you may be interested in our winter work.” wholly loofah, dragongrrl! now what am I gonna do? first, i don’t remember ever applying, and i’m pretty sure that i never paid tuition. but worse still, i don’t remember ever going to class. i’m sure to fail and then there goes the gpa. poodle feathers and rabbit spawn! i’m totally screwed now. i’ll never be able to get my dream job now, and i really, really, really wanted to make a career with the fine people of the flexible bionic insurrectionists (fbi).

i’m really angry about this. really.