pedablogical

So I decided to check, and at least one has hatched :) and s/he really didn’t understand why I wasn’t providing food. Unfortunately, all I did was torture the poor thing. I couldn’t get the picture that I wanted, so I sat the basket on the porch, and baby settled all back down. I accidentally bumped the hanger for the basket, and baby was all perky with open mouth. “Ahh,” tengrrl the bird torturer realizes, “if i touch the basket he thinks it’s mommy and pops up.” So I just tortured him/her a couple of times till I got that last shot. I know. I’ll definitely be in the woodshed for this one. Mama is back out there tending them now, so he’s probably forgotten my evil.

more pics…

Anne Frank 2006: War Diaries Online – New York Times—a great article for one of my ‘how would this text be written if the characters were writing today instead of in the past.’ Yes, I know that Anne Frank isn’t a fictional character; but this would be a good way to introduce such an assignment. My Romeo and Juliet lesson plan plays around with these ideas.

I did a little bit of writing today. Figured out the very general outline for a possible Notes Plus piece, and did a little work on Belief #6. I have the notes worked our for #5, so it seemed more useful to move one and figure out the next one rather than finish writing #5. Beyond that I have been a depressed slacker. I slept till almost noon and then took a three and a half hour nap. I don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore. The disturbing dreams are back, making sleep hell–hard to get to sleep because I’m worrying about everything I’ve done wrong today and will do wrong tomorrow, sleep is occupied with troubling dreams, waking up is impossible because I’m so worn out from the dreaming and trouble getting to sleep in the first place. I think that the book that the doctor asked me to read is just confusing me and making things worse overall. In my head there’s this endless list of things I should do, but I never manage to get them done. I didn’t even get the trash to the street today. I cry over pictures of cute children. I cry over commercials. I worry about things in my house breaking. I can’t manage to get the clothes out of the washing machine, so I just keep rewashing them cuz they smell sour. I just seem to fail at all the things I’m supposed to be doing, and it’s apparently making me over-anxious more than I realized because I’ve rubbed the patches on my eyes again. They’re all red and blotchy. This only happens when I’m stressed and anxious. I wish I could be normal instead of such an infernal mess.

I just wrote a devilish sentence for Belief #5. Wonder if they’ll let me keep it or “correct” it in editing:

The e-mail that a student sends her fathers saying that her favorite band is coming to town is different from the text message that student sends to her best friends about the concert. The general information in the messages may be the same, but the language and specific details of the two pieces of writing will probably be quite different.

I couldn’t help it. I had “father” and then I decided that maybe that was stereotyped (asking the patriarch), so I started to change it to “mother” and I got the inspiration for the current version. I bet I get sent to the woodshed.

So here I am working on another chapter. This last week has been interesting. I sent out an manuscript for an English Journal call at the beginning of the week, the first print publication that I’ve written a paper for since grad school (um, twenty years ago). It felt odd to be writing a paper. In some ways, it felt like working on those papers in grad school. In other ways, I feel as if I’m writing from a position of greater authority. For the most part, I know what I’m talking about now. I’m not guessing, though I still have many moments of doubt about my ability. Who knows if it will be accepted, but at least I spit text out on paper, and I can pull out the list of ten that’s in it and convert it to something else if it’s rejected.

This whole EJ accomplishment brings us to evil belief #5, which I complained about almost a month ago. I need to have the chapter on beliefs written by the 5th, and I’ve been stuck in the same place (on belief #5). It’s quite true that I have had many other things to work on, including that EJ article, so I haven’t given the chapter MS much attention. Yesterday, I read and reread and rereread that fifth belief, and I came to realize that it wasn’t my inability to write or think. It’s that silly belief. I don’t think it’s written very clearly (and I realize I may go to hell and/or the unemployment office for saying that about an NCTE position, but there you have it). On about the tenth or twelfth read of that crazy thing this week, finally yesterday I realized it was a problem of focus and framing.

The belief states, “Writing grows out of many different purposes.” The problem is that it doesn’t stick to that issue. It first hits purpose but then addresses audience, and by the time it gets to what this means for teaching, it’s talking about the forms and genres that teachers frequently assign (from my perspective anyway). I couldn’t figure out how all that boiled down to the simple belief that was being used as the label. In the world of taglines, it should have been “Writing. It’s way more than one thing.” Simply changing the statement to include audience or rhetorical situation would have clarified things so much. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why it’s framed by purpose, and then spends most of the explanation on audience. Yes, purpose influences audience, but overall, I think it’s the belief that needs to be clearer. Nothing this basic should take me months to figure out. I’ve spent all this time thinking that I wasn’t up to the task, doubting myself, and I’ve finally realized it wasn’t me. It was the text that I’m working from.

I’m too tired to write what I want to tonight. Too many deadlines, not enough sleep. Meanwhile, however, you can look at these babies who are currently residing in the hanging ivy basket on my front porch with their mommy.