I may never cook again. Okay, not really, though I do feel like I've done nothing but cook this entire day. Actually, that's a bit close to reality. I made snackin' food for the Macy's parade, and as soon as that was over, I began the process of cooking for dinner. I didn't finish and have people eating till 9 pm. It's not that I was truly actively cooking every minute. There were moments of confusion and bewilderment. The biggest issue was that I thought my mother would be making the pumpkin pies, but I ended up being in charge of that too. No problem... except that since I didn't think I was doing it no one checked the ingredients. We were out of shortening, a key ingredient for pie crust. The bigger issue is that I'm not a pie crust maker in the first place. I buy pie crusts in cute little boxes in the dairy aisle. That won't do for mom however, so the whole process was a little more complex than usual. Beyond that, I gave a wag of the finger to the microwave several times for its misbehavior, and ultimately, I put it on notice (after it tried to remove my fingernail). It is clearly an evil appliance. Wag of the fingers also for the knife and the stove top. The pie crust is also on notice for its failure to cooperate when I attempted to roll it out. It may be dead to me. I must re-evaluate later when I'm hydrated again.